Home and some final thoughts!

Stretching and enjoying my time abroad!! Ahh, mother nature I love you!!

Hey everyone,

I want to send a final post before I end this blog. I wrote this very long letter (12 pages in my journal) at the airport on Thursday night (June 3rd) at the airport in Lima and I think it does a great job of summarizing my feelings and thoughts about my trip. So here goes:

I don't feel any emotions very strongly, but the ones I have are mixed. The strongest feeling I have is a bit of travel anxiety because I'm waiting to get my plane. I'm now at the airport and am just feeling mixed right now-super mixed actually. I think what I've realized is that shorter trips may be better when traveling alone. Like I feel I threw in the towel too early, but I'm not really regretting my choice. Here are the factors running through my head:

For going home:

1. Family and friends: I miss everyone so much my heart has been hurting non-stop since I left. I wonder exactly how I could be just fine for 2.5 months last summer in Minnesota but could barely make it for 2 months here. Of course I have some theories (no friends, nothing familiar, little to no Internet communication, etc).

2. Close friendships: this ties into #1 but requires its own consideration. One thing I've noticed is how many amazing, interesting, international people I've met while traveling, but even so I haven't found anyone to click with as much as anyone I met at camp-which means I just never had my social/love needs met as much as I need them while on this trip.

3. Hugs: along with #1 and #2, I haven't had my love need met here at all. Yes, friendly Hi's or bye's hugs, but not the get your tummy full of love hugs I enjoy so much from friends. ;)

4. Summer: It has been several years since I've had one of those hang around and do much of nothing type summers. I have missed several 4Th of July's at my cabin and as I've thought about my upcoming years in graduate school I've realized I will probably miss many more coming up. Yes I realize people like my friends have missed the summer vacations I'm talking about for a while now and that what I'm saying sounds spoiled, but I figure if I have the opportunity to do what I want (hang out with family and chill in Napa on last time), why not do it?!

5. Travel feelings: Yes I do enjoy seeing new things but I don't love spending lots and lots of time on my own (which I've done a fair bit of, not always out of my own desire), spending much time in cities (which is done while traveling to difference places and often for sight-seeing), spending lots of money (I'm saving More than $600 automatically by cutting my trip short and will now hopefully make some money in Napa). Plus everywhere I went I'd think about my friends and family so much it got to the point where I was asking myself "Why am I forcing myself to keep going when I can simply see everyone sooner than later?"

6. Work-our: A very small, basically negligent, aspect has to do with exercise because I think it really plays an important role in my mental health. The fact that I haven't had any exercise in over one month I think has played a role on my mind set. There were a few days when I could feel myself sinking a bit towards depression-a feeling I haven't felt in years, don't even want to feel and yet could quickly recognize. I did what I could to thwart it off and feel better, yet nevertheless why not just do something to help it out (where I was it was not conducive to working out at all, especially considering how tired I found myself so often throughout each day).

7. Changes ahead: knowing I have a big move to Colorado in August was weighing on me. I have a lot to do to prepare for that and I think it was a bit over-ambitious of me to think I could do it all in under 3 weeks. Also I realized I should/need to visit San Diego State University, Long Beach State University and the University of the Pacific before moving as well since I should know more about their graduate programs before applying there in the fall.

--Clearly I have a lot weighing on this side, but there are some factors on the "Stay in Peru" side as well:

1. Once in a lifetime trip: As Robyn called my adventure, how can I a pass on something like this? A condolence is knowing, somehow, that if I'm driven enough, which I believe I am, I can travel again some other time, whether for work, volunteering, vacation, couple's get away, whatever.

2. My Spanish: little by little I'm feeling stronger speaking Spanish, but now my trip is halting that progress. A condolence: I got accepted into the bilingual AmeriCorps location in Denver so hopefully this upcoming year will offer me more opportunities to practice. Additionally, I've already thought of several other ways (radio, TV, movies, newspaper, books) in which I can continue practicing. And if this really is a life long goal, I do have all my life to work on my Spanish skills. For some odd reason it is the only language I am at all interested in learning so that gives me plenty of time.

3. The school: here is another mixed bag. At first I was SUPER excited to stay and volunteer after seeing the site. Then I had to pay $400 (rather than only $200 as I'd expected) to volunteer, which threw me off my rocker for a bit but eventually came to terms with. Then the 1st afternoon I helped at the school I got a headache because it was so hectic and disorganized. That evening I got food sickness, which made me miss home that much more and resent being here in this truly foreign country. The other volunteers at first made me feel left out, then I started to like them a bit before a few left, a few new ones arrived and I felt annoyed by a few who were staying and sad the ones I really like were leaving. Luz, the woman running the school, and I bonded, making me like it that much more. The morning school sessions seem like a pretty big waste of time in general. When I helped with a pair of older girls in the afternoon it is more what I imagined, making me like it more. Learning how to light a match and therefore be self-sufficient as a cook made it more enjoyable too. No bugs=good. Little 2 year old Emma (Luz's daughter)=adorable. Eating Peruvian food that didn't make me sick (like cow's heart)=good. Hanging at the beach=good. Going to the movies one night with volunteers=fun. So yeah, hard to form a coherent united opinion on the school, but bottom line: I left the place which was the exact sort of destination I'd imagined for this trip. Although I know I could have made it through that month and probably enjoyed myself more than not, it wasn't a vacation. Especially when I think about how after a week it would just be 4 of us volunteers and 2 of them quite annoyed me-like I'd rather sit in silence than talk with you-leaving me with potentially one friend and a lot more work and students with so many of the other volunteers leaving at the end of this week.

4. Seeing Peru: I haven't been in Peru for even one week and I'm already leaving. Who knows if I'll ever come back? If I do, and I want to see some of the sights, I might plan a trip with a good friend.

I know I didn't list as many "for staying" and it's prob ably because I already left my place here and it is too late to change my mind. I'm trying tocleanse myself of all the conflicting feelings right now by writing them down here for you.

Here are a few other travel thoughts:

1. Travel partner: one of my main complaints is the lack of a good friend on this trip who I traveled with, yet I have trouble imagining who I could have gone with. Robyn and Mom get too travel sick on buses and such transportation. Dad isn't too into volunteering. Other friends have work and other responsibilities. Plus I want both my personal space and independence while at the same time my best bud at my side. Maybe friendships are so hard to find for traveling because of how I want such specifics. Another benefit of traveling alone is the ease of meeting new people. It wasn't always exactly as easy as I'd anticipated, yet with a friend I wouldn't have met a few of my bus-friends, hostel-friends, etc. However, some of the people I met just emphasized to me how much work as a person I have yet to do because I am a finicky person always wanting the perfect friends with me. Even for a night of fun I sometimes didn't want to spend that much time with a recently met traveler-friend. Maybe I left 1st judgments get in the way, or I'm good at seeing who I mesh well with. Some I had mixed feelings about but realized I wasn't having my maximum amount of fun. Am I too tough on everyone, not just myself?! Like too high of expectations? One minute I say I want to meet new people different from me, from different cultures, from different cultures and also to get out of my comfort zone. The next second I say "I miss my real friends, these people bother me. Also I'm uncomfortable and want to be home where I can relax on my clean living room carpet." How can I ever be satisfied?! I'm pulled in one direction by my heart but once I take a step in that direction, the opposite direction pulls me back. Maybe it is the gray section once again that I'm overlooking and needing right now: a bit of stretch but not a push in the deep-end. How am I supposed to use whatever I have to give if I'm paralyzed by fear? Or I can do what I want but I'm not really enjoying it-like the school here: if I'd stayed I would have made it but wouldn't enjoy myself as much as just hanging out at home. True: my resume won't be as complete. True: I cut my itinerary and threw in the rag early. True: my heart will stop hurting and I can just lighten up and be my true self. Why? How? id o not know.

2. Homesickness: It is a difficult thing to pin down since the minute I changed my plan to come home early I stopped feeling so sad. Maybe it is a matter of mental weakness that I could have overcome if I'd distracted myself more or something. What I figure is that I used lots of mental strength over the last 2 months as I felt homesick so it is OK if I go home now :)

Maybe the line up of events from Ecuador to Peru also play a role in my early return. If it wasn't possible (like if my Dad didn't say "You tell me when and I'll look into earlier flights" and om say "If you come home early you aren't a failure at all", I might have stuck it out. As it is, they both said these things so I took my opportunity after all that happened:

-met German super-hot guy to travel with to Peru who was attractive but a bit of a serious traveler who made me feel a bit inexperienced traveler and unequipped

-passed into Peru with different money and city conditions (much poorer), making me feel more uncomfortable and culture shock

-stayed in Huanchaco beach town for one day by myself on overcast day and felt a bit lonely

-ate a ton of ceviche and later got sick from it

-when arrived at school had to pay $400, felt out of place around close group of friends, felt uncomfortable not being able to light gas stove on my own, still itchy but bites, uncomfortable mattress and headache after an afternoon with the kids.

When you put everything I've just said doesn't it make sense why I say I have mixed feelings and find it difficult to clearly express why I want to come home early??


--I'm also a perfectionist, control freak, super organized person who has trouble adjusting and being flexible. I want others to like me and think I"m easy to get along with. I want this so much that I fail to express my own thoughts/interests/true feelings and am left feeling exceptionally anti-assertive. I don't want to be a rude, overly assertive, powerful person but I want to be a strong individual who can speak up when necessary and say "Yes, please, I would like something to drink" instead of automatically saying "No thanks I'm fine" just because I don't want to be a bother to anyone.

--Sometimes I find myself assuming I'm an exceptional individual who has a super-special future set out for myself because of who I am. Why is this? Do most people feel this way? What is it I expect of myself whether or not I actually am as fantastic as I sometimes think? Like do I have to live abroad, live in a poor community, take very few vacations, to vacation-destinations no less, like Hawaii? Buy few nice things? Live far away from home? Is it possible to find a job and place to live that I find fun (whether it be Napa, Boulder Colorado or Lima Peru) and still do something worthwhile? It is not like I want to be famous for the things I do. Yet I somehow expect some sort of recognition, why? Because of this need I think I romanticized my trip so I could later say "well I volunteered in South America for four months in several schools teaching elementary and high school". Don't get me wrong, I'll still say it, and already have, even though I cut my trip short, only actually taught for like 2.5 days and didn't really do all that much farming because I'm lazy (except in the gym) and didn't like pulling weeds or doing very taxing work. Really, I wonder what I would have planned for this trip if I'd known exactly what I as getting myself into. Once again, I say I like challenges, but when I'm faced with challenges I shirk away and desire to just sit and read or talk in Spanish.

-Have I enjoyed parts/a lot of my trip? YES!
-Have I met some really great, fun and interesting people? OF COURSE!
-Have I learned lots of new things? YOU BET!

But this doesn't mean I am a born solo-traveler for long periods of time. In fact, I kind of don't want to be that type of person. I want to desire to travel with my loved ones, hopefully soon a significant other.

These past almost 5 days elucidates the type of traveler I am. I had several free days in Peru as I arrived, got to the school, waited for my time to head to Lima and then later to the airport. What did I do with all that time? Read, cooked myself meals, dawdled online and laid in bed. I didn't care really for exploring the area and instead preferred doing what I can do at home or anywhere really, while I whiled away my last few days in my desired travel destination. I guess the truth is I really don't have the travel bug. Yes I like staying busy, active, having a purpose, but in different ways than seeing the sites. Maybe in a different circumstance (other country, older age, good close travel partners) I don't know. On the flip side, which makes me feel even more like a picky princess, I have a hard time understanding what type of vacation/travel destination is my preferred way of spending time. Like the idea of a vacation that is 180 degree change from this one: nice hotel, family, gym, fine-dining, few tours. Very relaxing but a bit over-glutenous. Yeah the secret to life is the grey, the balance between drastic ends. A mix of family, nice places, poorer places, touring and volunteering. Maybe the whole goal of "learning about myself" while traveling can be seen in realizations like this.

Traveling revelation: Yes I like traveling, enjoy volunteering and meeting new people, but always in moderation. While some people travel/volunteer/work abroad for years at a time, a month or 2 is fine for me. Honduras with Habitat was great! It's not like I'm a hermit at heart, but I'm not a lone ranger either.

Also, considering my mom's family (Oma and Mom at least) I'm doing great. Oma can barely handle a 30 minute car drive, let alone a plane ride or heaven forbid an international 4 month trip alone. My mom is better: she can do both the 8 hour drive to Southern California or the three hour plane trip. Her attitude on the two week East Coast family trip or European tour was a bit more complicated, considering her personal needs and interests. Following these two generations, I have come a long way. Maybe I've been comparing my traveling interests and abilities with the wrong people: rather than looking at Peace Corps volunteers who work for two years in severely difficult situations or the avid, seasoned travelers through South America, solo for 1+ years, I should pat myself on the back for the two months I did do. And I could have done the four, but instead am taking the early birthday present of two extra months with family and friends. Who knows where everyone will be next summer?! At least Robyn and a few friends are in Napa and Berkeley.

I think a part of me feels compelled to write all these different thoughts and feelings down now, at the end of my trip while it is all fresh so I don't regret my decisions later. I truly dislike regretting choices, especially those who make me feel weak and like a failure, and hope to hold on to the reasons for doing what I did.

At times I've found myself questioning once gain the purpose of life. Yes I know some people's reasons and answers are, and I'm grateful for people still listening to me as I go on asking these questions. I come back to some of the same answers:

1. to love others
2. to help others as much as I can
3. to be the best I can be
4. to enjoy my time here

I don't know why these are my beliefs I hold so strongly, but each time I ask these questions I find these answers waiting for me. Of course I think it's a life long journey to do these things because even though they're basic, they are hard to do. Even #1, to love, is SO difficult when I get annoyed by others or am in a grumpy mood. But nevertheless they are my reasons. Or #4, enjoy myself, much harder than it sounds. I'd think I'd know what I need to do in order to enjoy myself, yet just look at this trip and I can see that it is harder to know myself than I'd think. Maybe to enjoy yourself requires you to really know yourself, something we all know is pretty hard to do and in itself a life task as well.

Random: I try to notice the natural physical beauty of all sorts of people (age, gender, race, style) with out being jealous or comparing myself.

OK well I think this has been a pretty thorough brain wash/cleanse--better phrase. I loved this opportunity to travel and the trip for the things I learned.

Besos y brazos!! (Kisses and hugs!!)
XOXO


(Random and good memory to keep in mind!): Me and Aurora in Malingua Pamba hanging out in Josafina's (Paulino's mother) hut while she cooked a yummy chicken soup. I'll miss those fresh flavorful broths!


Thanks for reading my blog!!!

Some pictures while in Peru

Here are a few picture from Huanchaco the week before I arrived in Esperanza, the small town outside of Trujillo where Horizon school is located:

While I was wondering around the beach of Huanchaco last week I saw a bunch of Peruvians working on these little canoe like boats. I was told they use them eveyday to go out to sea to catch their fresh fish. Although they look a bit flimsy, Im told they are quite strong and can last up to like 6 or 8 months.


Here the fishermen can be seen using their boats to paddle out to sea to find their fish.


My first and last ceviche of white fish and shrimp. I didnt know what I was ordering exactly because Id asked for a recommendation from the owner. I wouldnt have ordered this if Id known 1. how much freaking food it was going to be and 2. what type of fish it was. It also came with yuka, corn on the cob, a sweet potatoe like food and unpopped popcorn that was super salty. There is a dirty old water bottle on the table that I was told supposedly scares flies away because they see their reflection and get scared. I didnt see any flies around and these water bottles are very common on restaurant tables, but it just seems a bit questionable as to its effectiveness...I dont know, I wasnt convinced.


The last few pieces of fish I could not swallow, impressed with how much I ate? I was!!


A TOUR OF THE HORIZON HOUSE:

My bedroom, one of two girl-rooms upstairs. There are three rooms upstairs, including Luz and her 2 year old daughter Emmas room. In my room there are 2 sets of bunkbeds, and I started on the top of one of them when I was sick. It was uncomfortable having to climb up the stairs while sick so the next day I switched to the bottom one. Luckily the mattress is better than the one at the farm and with a sheet on my bed I feel fairly protected from bedbugs and lice. Also super luckily I think my bag is better because I have stopped getting bug bites, THANK GOODNESS, I am free from itchy skin!! Ahhh what a relief!


Here is the view when you first walk into the house: Welcome to Horizon School. There are two rooms downstairs that are used for classrooms/tutoring sessions. This is the first one and on the other side of the wooden barrier there is another similar looking room. The other room is where Nicola, Andrea and I took our Marinella (traditional Peruvian dance) class last night. It was 2 hours and felt very long. It was nice to stretch out a bit, but the movements were pretty hilarious and harder than I expected to master.


This is a better shot of the classroom supplies with the signs, pictures and desks ready for the students.


This tilted picture eliminates the hallway you walk down from the classrooms to the kitchen, bathroom and hang-out room.


The miraculous kitchen where I learned how to light a match, light the gas stove and boil my own water. There is also a nice refrigerator and washing machine, as you can easily see here. Out the window is a little porch/backyard where you can lay your clothes to dry and I think there is also a little structure for recycling, although I have not seen anyone use it or really understand what is going on there.


I am currently here in this room, typing on the computer. The TV was just hooked up last weekend and when I last used it only had one working channel of English boxing...how entertaining...

Hi and bye Peru

Wazz up?! It sure has been a while, or at least feels like awhile because so much has happened since I last blogged. I am sitting at the school in Trujillo, Peru after a morning of classes. My time here in Peru has been surprisingly cut short and Ill be coming home this Thursday/Friday (flight is on Thursday night, arrive in California Friday morning). I am releaved to know Ill be seeing familiar faces soon. That gives me 2 more days here after just a weekend of being here. Heres a glimpse of my weekend:

1. Food sickness: while in Huanchaco, the beach town, I ate ceviche, a whole tone of it. Ill upload pictures soon and show you that there was way too much food for my first seafood platter in South America. I felt fine the rest of Thursday and Friday until Friday night when I got super sick, like tons of chills down to my bones. I got into bed with all my clothes on and slept for almost 12 hours, waking up with like a migraine. I laid in bed all day Saturday even though the weather was beautiful and the other volunteers here went to the beach to surf and party that night. It was still queezy Saturday evening but I was able to eat a bit and yesterday, Sunday, it was getting stronger yet.

2. Cow heart: Yesterday after going to Huanchaco again, its the closest beach like 15 minutes in taxi, with the girls we stopped at a mall to get a present for a neighbor. Outside the mall was a little stand with a local woman selling grilled cow heart. I figured after killing the bull last week or whenever that was I should try it. It was FANTASTIC, like seriously if I were around here much longer Id be a regular customer there! I wish I could have gotten her recipe...

3. The mall: As I mentioned, we went to a mall. And it was like being in the US. I hate malls in the states and I didnt like this one at all either. After wondering around I was starving at like 8PM (oh and by the way it was surprisingly busy for a Sunday night, like more people than Ive ever seen at one time in a mall, let alone on a Sunday night), I went to the food court. There was a mariachi band performing, which didnt help my pulsing migraine. I ended up getting Chinese food, I know how starnge, which was a lot like Panda express or something of the like. No complaints there but of course the cow heart beats the food--I just couldnt wait any longer.

4. School here: I helped teach English today in three different classes at a local public school down the street along with 2 other volunteers. It was SO much more different than I expected: the kids were crazy loud and wouldnt stay in their seats, we taught them about 4 different pieces of clothing in English in 45 minutes-1 hour, needless to say it was very hectic. I dont really know how much help this volunteering program gives to the students and kids. I mean yeah its great they are learning some English at such young ages, like 6 years old, but how much help will knowing "socks" give them? Will they learn anything? I dont know, maybe. Maybe thats why the volunteers are requested/required to stay at least a month to build relationships and see some progress. But at the same time, my way of working (SUPER organized and controlled) completely buts-heads with this environment. While it could be a good struggle, it seems like barely 1/2 a drop in the bucket towards making educational progress here. In the afternoons there are students who can drop by the house where there is an informal educational school downstairs. The volunteers take on whatever kids they can and want to help, which again seems quite disorganized and hectic. I feel like the smaller ratios of tutors/students makes the afternoon work theoretically more impactful, but nevertheless it is hard to say exactly.

5. #1 important lesson Ive learned in Peru: How to light a match! Yeah and as a bonus I can light a gas stove now. Can you believe it because I barely cant!! After 3 weeks at Neverland constantly asking Kena and others to light the stove, one day of stomach sickness and a dire need for tea helped me conquer my fears. I am so proud of myself it is hard to express my feelings in words!

So thats just a bit of what Ive been up to here. Really nothing too exciting. I will take a few pictures of this place to post in a bit. Im going to go read now, Im still way into the books! Ciao

Welcome to Peru!

Here is the small room that Kena and I shared in Ecuador in my last nights there. It was in Hostal Londres and still only cost us each $5/night, a great bargain! He bought a few roses at a market Tuesday morning to add a little liveliness to the room, but considering we only spent our sleeping hours there it totally did the trick.


Adios Ecuador, it was great knowing ya!


Welcome to Peru!!


This is the first picture I´ve taken while being actually in Peru. I was trying to get a glimpse of the conditions of the city for you. It was through the bus window so it´s not the best condition. The little vehicle in the fore front is a motorized taxi thingamajig and there are a ton of those all over the place here. I never saw any like this in Ecuador but they kind of remind me of the transportation available in India, of what I´ve only seen in movies!

Hello from Peru! Yes, I made it here safe and sound. Let´s see where I left off, oh right in Loja on Tuesday afternoon. After I signed off the computer I went with Kena to the botanical gardens on the campus of the University in Loja. It was a nice tour and the great thing was the student who guided us around knew all the students who had been staying with us in Neverland, so it was like an extended visit with our new friends. I learned a bit about the medicinal plants and got to see a very nicely organized garden. After our tour we made it back to our hostal where we grabbed "Queridos John", aka "Dear John" in Spanish. We had wanted to go see it in theatre since we both read the book on this trip, but we couldn´t because we missed it´s time in theatre. A good thing about South America is all the dubbed media so we were able to buy the film for $1.50 at a DVD shop! We went to our favorite little internet cafe and watched the movie there! It was pretty awesome except for the storm of little kids who came through right as we were watching it and they turned up the volume really loud on their computers as they watched Indian music videos, but hey no real complaints because it was a movie for like $3.00 when you include internet time. Plus Kena bought a chocolate covered ice cream on a stick that we ate while watching the DVD as if we were really in a theatre! For dinner we went to this Mexican restaurant, I know not very traditional in Ecuador, but it was good. I had a mixed-meat burrito with lots of guacamole and spicey salsa, which I washed down with an orange soda--huge flashbacks to meals at Tacoria Rosita and the Mexican orange sodas in high school. Following dinner I bought some fruit at a grocery store to stock up for my bus trip and packed up my things in the room. I bought a bus ticket that day for Piura, the first big northern city of Peru, for 7AM Wednesday morning. Kena was going to Guayaquil (to catch his flight back home) at 10AM, but surprised me on Tuesday night and said "I think I´m going to just go to Guayaquil right now" so I ended up spending Tuesday night on my own in Hostal Londres. As a side note, my watch broke on my flight here so that the button to get the light to work broke off, and now the watch can´t get water on it. Well I forgot that and put it in the river to wash and now you can barely tell what time it is. Why am I telling you this? Because Tuesday night I kept waking up to check the time because I was afraid my watch´s alarm wouldn´t work and I´d sleep through my bus trip. Luckily my paranoia payed off and I was up at 6AM, 15 minutes before my flight. I heard someone else leaving so I scrambled to meet them at the door so I wouldn´t have to wake Gustav (the hostal owner) up again to open the main door. The other traveler asked where I was going, to the bus terminal I replied, so we traveled together. He was actually taking the same bus as I was to Piura so I had met another travel partner at the doorstep of Hostal Londres, for the second time in a row!! What a coincidence! And as it turned out, as we traveled south he ended up changing his mind and instead of going to Lima decided to go to Trujillo with me. This bus yesterday was supposed to be 9 hours, but then the ticket seller told us 8 hours, and it actually ended up being more than 10 hours! Thankfully the border crossing wasn´t too bad and we were even able to cut lines because we were with the group from the bus. My new travel partner´s name is Michael and he is a police officer in Germany. He has been traveling around Bolivia, Columbia, Ecuador and Peru for the past three months and is about to return home in the beginning of June. He has only a few days left here and therefore feels a crunch of time. He wanted to get to Trujillo as soon as possible so we found a bus right from Piura to Trujillo, with a stop over in Chacaloyo, or something like that. That means that we had another 3 hours, stopped for a sandwich, and 3 more hours until Trujillo, getting us into Trujillo around midnight! Then we grabbed a 20 minute taxi to Huanchaco, this little beachtown outside of Trujillo. It was a crazy day of adventures and a LONG travel day for me, from 6AM until almost 1AM. I mean in South America that might not be too bad, but for me that was a lot! The busses aren´t too bad but the one from Loja to Piura was a bit rockety as we went around a ton of mountains. I got bus sick for the first time, not throwing up sick but just nauscious sick. The other buses yesterday weren´t as bad fortunately. I also got to eat my apples and mandarines, but because of feeling a bit sick I didn´t eat an actual meal until my little turkey sandwich in a bus terminal. A few notes on Peru: it is a lot dirtier here. Like trash littering the streets and dirt all over. It kinda smells a bit too. The cities aren´t nearly as nice. The people so far seem quite friendly. I made my first successful phone call in Spanish! We wanted to make reservations at a hostal before arriving so late at night, 1AM, so I called one place that was full and then had a tediously slow convo in Spanish with another hostal owner because he had a hard time understanding my poor Spanish (seriously sometimes I feel almost fluent and other days I feel like I just stepped out of Spanish 1 and barely know the language!). There aren´t any bugs here and yet this morning I woke up with several new bites on my legs, I don´t know what´s going on--possibly there are leftover bugs in my sleeping bag?! I sure hope not!! Oh and just a random bit of fabulous news: I received my placement with AmeriCorps and I am 99.9% sure the site I´ve been assigned to is the bilingual site, HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! I am so stoked I did a little celebration dance in front of the computer a few minutes ago!! This morning Michael and I got up and went to a different hostal for a nice breakfast of pineapple juice, tea, wheat bread (a huge luxury after only white bread all the time) and omeletes. I am now going to go switch some more of my US dollars for Peruvian Soles, buy a new watch and work on Anne Frank´s diary in Spanish on the beach. The weather is a bit of a bummer with overcast skies, but I´ll enjoy it anyways. I was thinking of staying here until Sunday but just emailed the school and may just go tomorrow--I´m anxious to meet my new friends and see the school. I think it is right outside of Trujillo and so I could maybe just take a taxi right there from my hostal. I´ll maybe try another call in Spanish today to contact the school and make final arrangements. I still am missing home but I am trying to put things in perspective. It is crazy all the thinking that can go on during a 19-hour busride. Especially traveling with such a seasoned traveler as Michael is (this is like his 5th or 6th trip to South America in the last few years), my own style of traveling is more apparent. Also I learn things about my style of interacting. Like for example, if I need to speak in Spanish to get a taxi or something, I can do it. But for some reason when traveling with someone else, especially the two males I´ve most recently been with (Kena and Michael), I´ve found myself letting them do all the talking and making all the arrangements. I think this says something about my assertiveness. On the other hand, I find myself constantly looking for the positive of all situations and working on being as relaxed and flexible as possible. This is definitely something I admire in myself and feel like I can only strengthen as I practice doing these things in more difficult situations. Another thing I´ve noticed is how powerful your mind can be: by simply imagining something, I can really feel the effects. For example, after Kena left I felt a bit stressed about my trip Tuesday night, but I just started thinking of sleeping in my bed at home I felt as if I really were in Napa. Or last night as we were going on that bus to Trujillo I had a huge headache and felt sick, but when I put on my Ipod and listened to John Mayer I just imagined myself being at his concert and it was as if I really were there. The mind is a powerful tool that once you dip into it´s strenghts it can to wonders for you. So that´s a look into my unconscious thoughts as I traveled for hours yesterday. Also I found myself getting stuck thinking about people´s names and trying to remember kids from camp or an actor´s name. It took me over an hour just going through the alphabet to remember Emily´s name (the camper I spent almost all of last July with last summer). And the only movie I kinda half-watched yesterday was this movie with Heath Ledger (a name I also couldn´t remember), and Michael thinks it was his last film right before he passed away, which he never finished; so another company finished the film and it was really crappy because they had a very small budget, which was very apparent as the film went on. Anyways, that also took up some of my time yesterday! I´m off to the beach now, send some nice weather vibes my way if you can! :)

Books!

This is more a list for myself than anyone else, but if you want, check them out! I will make some comments later on the books, but here it is as I can remember it. It isn´t really in a chronological order of when I read them, but more or less this is what I´ve been reading:

1. Lucia, Lucia: I got this book from the free pile in Castro and thought it was a bit ridiculous. It is about a girl who is really into fashion in the early 1900s or something like that. It was still fun to read though.
2. Wuthering Heights: This book took me forever to get through and wasn´t as good as I´d expected it to be, but it was on my book list for so long I really wanted to read it. The story line is good once you get into it.
3. Little Women: I read the condenscened version which was fun. The first time I read it was in like 5th grade when I felt I needed to read it in order to be prepared for middle school...who read Little Women in school nowadays?! haha
4. How to Dissappear Completely: a book I put onto my Kindle and loved so much I read it in one morning!
5. Harry Potter, in Spanish: Much more fun to read this book in Spanish than some of the classic literature I read in Berkeley!
6. El Principito, the Little Prince, in Spanish: Robyn recommended it and it was a fun child´s book to read to practice my Spanish.
7. The Appeal: grabbed it at a book exchange and found it quite interesting. John Grisham is a well-known author and I liked his writing.
8. Dear John: Oh Nicholas Sparks, how Robyn loves you. The book was fun but a bit of a downer, as was the movie.
9. Mister God, This is Anna: Yup this book is about a 6 year old girl, named Anna, and her ponderings about God, a bit philosophical.
10. The Stone Diaries: another downer about a woman´s life in the early 1900s who has a bit of a dreary life.
11. The Plain Truth: Jodi Picoult! Love it! About the Amish community.
12. The Hitchiker´s Guide to the Galaxy: One of my new favorites. Very fun and witty.
13. Vanishing Acts: Another Jodi Picoult that was my second time reading it and still enjoyed it very much.
14. The Nanny Diaries: Another re-read and another fun one.
15. Alice in Wonderland: A quick read on my Kindle, now I want to see the movie!
16. The Translator: About a translator from Darfur who tells his family´s story and his perspective on the conflict in Sudan, very serious and thought-provoking.
17. The Final Reckoning: I grabbed this at the hostal in Loja because it was the only semi-OK looking book (yup, totally judging a book by its cover) and I was SO impressed. It was a fabulous storyline and a super fun read. The review said: "Compulsive reading, better than The Da Vinci Code" and it wasnt lying!!

Currently Reading:
1. Anna Karinana: hope to finish it before leaving South America!

Tried but didn´t finish:
1. How Stella Got Her Groove Back: Sorry Stella, couldn´t help ya get your groove back. Your style of writing is too much for me.
2. No Country for Old Men: Way serious and bloody. Maybe the movie is better, as I´ve been told?
3. Three Junes: Boring...
4. Bad Girl: a book set in Peru, written by a Peruvian author, originally in Spanish, but it is dry. Its a long, drawn out romantic novel with a pretty negative undertone, I dont recommend it.

Top 10ish Memories from Neverland

Kena and I are spending our second day together in Loja. Yesterday we left Neverland, grabbed a taxi with Michael and Emma to Vilcabamba and then grabbed another taxi to Loja, which was only $1.50 and 30 minutes (compared to the 2 hour bus ride!). We went back to our favorite hostal, Hostal Londres ($5/night) and got some food. Today I read some of the Anna Karenina I have downloaded on my Kindle, then we sent our clothes to the laundromat (YIPPEE for clean, actually clean and good smelling, clothes!), got money to pay the school in Peru, changed a few of my US dollars for Peruvian Sols (3 Sols for $1) and had lunch. (Oh a note on Ecuadorian restaurants: they often serve almuerzos, which are a lunch including soup, a full plate of food and a tea or juice for only like $1.50 or $2. They are by far my favorite way of filling up around town.) I also bought my bus ticket for tomorrow. I am going on a bus from Loja to Piura, a northern city in Peru. The bus will take 9 hours and cost me $10. I just switched books in the hostal so I will have a new paperback to read on the bus. Tonight I am going to get some snacks and fruit to eat on the bus. I chose to take the 7AM bus because I want to travel in day light and cross the border during the day time as well (note on border crossings: several people have shared their experiences with me in regards to using this border crossing and therefore feel very comfortable about the whole arrangement). I will then spend the night in Piura before getting a 6 hour bus to Trujillo on Thursday. Of course I hope to have internet access in between there to update you all.

A sidenote on how I´m feeling: I think 3 weeks at a farm was just a bit much. Even though last weekend I went on that hike and then on Sunday went to Vilcabamba for internet, the change of pace and scenary in the city is really helping me cheer up a bit. There were only 2 lights on the whole area of the farm which meant having to use a headlamp all night, which wouldn´t be so bad if it weren´t for the fact that the lights attract moths and since the light is on my head moths were always flying around my head. Also, the bugs were a problem. I feel SO liberated walking around town today in shorts not having to worry about my legs getting eaten. Someone told me Trujillo is too warm for bugs and I sincerely hope they are right!

OK on to the Top 10ish memories from Neverland. I really want to list them now while I have Kena sitting right next to me to help remind me of some crazy and fun times:

NOTE: these are in no special order other than the fact that this is what I remember 1st, 2nd and so on:

1. The outdoor bathroom is a really beautiful structure and somedays there was a collection of little butterflies, mostly green and yellow, that would sit on the steps together. It was a magical experience to walk to the bathroom and disturb this "kaliedescope of butterlies" (Kena´s new term) and have them fly all around your head as you made your way to the bathroom. Privacy wise it was great except for the difficult time you could have deciding if the bathroom was occupied or not. Luckily we started a system of shouting "Is anyone in the bathroom?" as you made your way to the toilet. I only walked in on one person one time (Sorry Emma!) on accident. I really did yell and ask if anyone was there but that afternoon it was raining so hard on the tin roof you couldn´t hear someone yell. Thank goodness I was never walked in on!

2. Last Monday, the first day the girls from the university in Loja were at NF, we made humitas. This was an all day task that involved pounds and pounds of corn. You start by cutting off the one hard end and shucking the leaves and little hair. The full large leaves were saved to wrap and cook the humitas in. The hair of the corn was saved to supposedly make tea with, which I never experienced. Then you take your finger and pop a row, length wise, of corn off the ear into a bowl. From there it is much easier to grab the rest of the kernels off around the whole ear. It took me a LONG time to get the hang of that, but with the help of the girls I soon figured it out. After all the kernels are ready we ground them through a coffee grinder (one of the hand-grinders) with some chopped onions too. Honestly after that I don´t know what they did because I went on to my own project of working on a bamboo wind chime (it was one of Emma´s ideas that I grabbed on to and was having a great time working on--unfortunately I didn´t get a chance to finish it but it was fun work nonetheless to work with a hand saw and such tools). The finished product of the humita was a steamed cheesy corn mixture that looked like a tamale, wrapped in the corn husk. I can´t even guess how many humitas I ate between Tuesday and Thursday, when they got moldy and we had to throw them out. Even though they were tasty fresh, I prefered them sauteed on the stove so they got a little crunchy and toasty. By the way, one morning in MP, the morning of the baptism, I went over to Aurora´s house to return a dish and ended up eating a breakfast of humitas at her house because her and her son had made a ton the night before to sell out of her car at the party that afternoon.

3. When I arrived at the farm Tina not only had the 2 kittens, she also had 2 puppies! One was already given to Andres and his family and was named Sonia. The other, named Tonga, was given to a family in Vilcabamba but Tina was babysitting it for the week. In California, babysitting a dog isn´t too much work. On a farm, however, it can be a bit tricky as you try and watch out so the dog won´t eat one of the roaming chickens. Why is that such a bad thing you may wonder? Well because if a dog eats a chicken, the family will kill the dog. The day before I got there Tonga had killed a chicken. Andres and Norman wanted to spank the puppy silly to teach it a lesson and eventually save its life. The other volunteers said "no way Jose you can´t spank a puppy" --which Tina was frustrated about because she knows what will happen to Tonga if he doesn´t learn. So his punishment was being tied to the dog run all day, after which we hoped he wouldn´t do it again. This was still in our first week there when Kena and I were sharing a room. He loves to get up early and as he did that one morning he found Tonga with another chicken in his mouth. As he went over to the dog to stop him, the adorable little puppy gave a huge growl that stopped Kena in his tracks. Kena let the dog finish his meal, after which Tonga was so happy wagging his tail and settling down for a half a day´s nap. Luckily, a few days later Tonga was delivered to his family who has several kids...good news for Tonga because the owners won´t kill him but rather spend a lot of time training him not to kill chickens. Even Stewbie, the grown male dog of Tina´s, knows better than to eat the chickens, even though he does enjoy a game of chase with the hugest rooster ever!

4. The chickens that never go home: (and the only egg that was laid in the 3 weeks we were there. It is sitting in a bowl in the kitchen and Kena named it Esperanza--"hope" in Spanish.) Each morning the chickens are let out of their cage after a nice big helping of chicken food. They are free to wonder around the area as they eat, fight and sleep. They are a bit annoying because they like to walk on the kitchen table, even though they are dirty and that is very gross. We have to constantly be on guard to push them off or else they may poop on it, which I saw a few times while being there. Also, like like to wander into the kitchen, another no-no, and eat the dog food, which has bits of chicken in it and that is just wrong to let a chicken eat a chicken. Then after a long day of walking around doing nothing, they need to go back into their cage. It wouldn´t be so bad if they were used to going into their cage for a majority of the time, but since they are newish chickens, they aren´t used to this. We finally learned to wait until later in the afternoon/evening to gather them inside, but even then it could be a pain. The trick is to bring a bunch of food and hope they are hungry enough to run into the cage with you to eat it. However, usually it is not this easy. Even though maybe around 90% happily return, that darn 10% can be a headache, as Kena and Michael can attest to. They ran around the farm, around the kitchen, the shower, the gardens, the little creek, everywhere they could possibly think a chicken would go, chasing them with long pieces of bamboo or other wood (because they were too skittish to pick a chicken up, as I was as well, but Emma wouldn´t mind). It was hilarious to watch as the chicken got frightened and ran around in a hap-hazard way of course in every direction except for the coup. In the end the guys would give up and whatdoyaknow, there are still about 6 chickens scattered around: a few sitting on the top of the coup while another few wander around. Those stupid ones would just have to go without food because we were done gathering the chickens and had called it a night. A single good thing I can mention about the chickens: the rooster was huge but luckily didn´t make too much noise, thank you mr. rooster!

5. Stewbie is an idiot (or "El Jefe de Tumianuma", the chief of the town): chasing horses, fighting with some dogs two times, banished from Tumianuma, this is the story of the beautiful and oh so annoying dog of Tina´s. Starting with chasing horses: this dog I guess is supposed to make sure the horses stay in their proper areas. Sometimes however the horses would wander around, the humans knowing this, and would be constantly horassed by Stewbie the constantly vigilent perro. He would bark non-stop at the horses as if all of a sudden Tina would realize, "Oh yeah, there are the horses that aren´t supposed to be right there", which of course she never did. So we had to put up with this continuous barking for as long as the horses were in Stewbie´s territory. Fighting with some dogs: two distinct times I had the unfortunate experience of watching Stewbie get into hideous fights with these two little dogs that would come onto the farm. The first time I was cooking with Sylvia and as I was washing some dishes, Stewbie started to attack this one little brown dog, I think was male, and then go after the little white female. Sylvia finally ended the fight by splashing water on the dogs. The second time we were all on our way to kill the bull, I was happily singing ¨Vamos a matar un torro¨("We are going to kill a bull!) and then all of a sudden Andres gets knocked down as Stewbie charges him to get to the little brown dog once again. White teeth are shining, low growl is going, slobber is flying and the little dog is whimpering. Finally Andres throws a rock at Stewbie which stops the fight and Stewbie is yelled at by all of us. Lastly, Stewbie, the capitan of the town Tumianuma, is forever banished from the pueblo even though he tries to visit so much. I haven´t seen it with my own eyes, but Kena describes it as a classic western film as Stewbie enters the town and all the dogs in the square get up off their front porches to bark at Stewbie as he enters. Being the largest dog in town, he wants to fight them all and is therefore banished by Tina from visiting. Whenever someone leaves the farm Stewbie must be tied up or else he tries to follow. One time Kena stopped holding onto Stewbie for the required time after someone left, and Stewbie ended up following Tina into town. Michael had to walk ALL THE WAY to town to grab the frickin´dog who wouldn´t stop when being yelled at. Yup, this is why I love dogs so much.

6. The 80 year old who looks like he´s 60: from Chile and been 40 years with the same woman. We mistook his generosity of offering us a chair and thought he was just being nice when really he was being friendly and wanted to chat with us for the entire 45 minutes before the bus to Vilcabamba last Sunday. (The alternative title to this story is "Why people live long in Vilcabamba" because that town is known for long living citizens). There are many theories as to the longevity, Gloria (the owner of the only shop in Tumianuma) thinks it is because of the beauty of the scenary. Another person theorizes that it is the water. The old man had his own view on it that was very philosophical and had to do with living a simple life, like that in the garden of Eden, or something like that (although he spoke slowly in Spanish, some words I couldn´t catch but didn´t care enough to ask again). He was an interesting character who definitely entertained Kena and I as we waited for the bus...oh the people you meet while traveling! :)

7. The final miracle on the farm: horses carrying our bags back to Tumianuma. After the long journey of trekking our bags to the farm from town, the first day we got to NF, I had been dredding the day when I´d have to carry my bags back to town from NF. Fortunately, yesterday morning, Tina told us that the horses were getting ready to go into town and we could have them bring our bags with them so we wouldn´t have to drag them ourselves! HALLELUJAH! It was a little miracle, which Kena said was actually a HUGE miracle! Once we got into town, we got some water and waited for the bus. And waited, and waited, and waited for a bus that never came; we ended up taking a taxi into town. It was a pick-up truck filled with cases of empty bottles of beer. Kena asked if they were free with our journey and the taxi driver happily said yes. Michael sat in the back to watch out for my luggage since I didn´t want it falling off along the way. Thanks Michael!

8. The poor possum that was killed on fiesta night: after dancing our night away on Saturday, Kena, Emma, Turtle, Malia (2 new volunteers from Santa Cruz, California) and I made our way back to NF. We had to stop by Andres and Sylvia´s house again before we went back to the farm though because some people left stuff there. We got to have the ever faithful and wonderful Nova as our guide. Nova is the best dog on the farm, a long white dog of Tina´s that is the mother of Tonga and Sonia and another wolf-looking dog that is owned by Gloria now. She lead the way as we walked behind her. As we were walking along the darkened dirt road to Andres´house I saw some little eyes blink in the bush. Then I saw Nova walk over to those eyes, pick something up in her mouth and walk on. I mentioned it to my fellow walkers and we started pondering over what it could be. It didn´t seem to have put up much of a fight and Nova didn´t seem too worked up over it. At one point in the walk she set it down and then picked it back up again. Once we were under a street light Nova dropped the object and moved on. We quickly walked up to it and realized it was a possum! How had this happened? It was dead and I couldn´t figure out if it had already been dead when Nova got it or if she had just very quickly killed it right as she picked it up. A mystery I will never find out the truth about...

9. The hunt for the lost horses: the following morning of the party, Sunday, Tina needed 2 of her horses brought into town because she was bringing a bunch of groceries (like 300-400 pounds of food including large sacks of potatoes, tomatoes, rice, veggies, toilet paper, etc) and needed us volunteers to gather them up. I had bravely told Malia that I would ride one of the horses into town with her to get the food with Tina on Sunday. Malia, a very experienced horse worker, asked me if I knew what I was getting myself into, which I said "Oh yeah no prob. I used to be afraid of horses, but not anymore!" Well by the morning I had changed my mind, I mean yeah I can feed a horse some panella, but do I really want to ride one on the steep rocky path back to town? No thank you. But I ended up joining her in the hunt for the horses. Tina has 3 horses: a gentle, tranquil white mare who was already in town, a young dude named Zeus and a very large powerful horse named "the proud one" in Spanish. Well we couldn´t find either of the male horses on Sunday. Earlier in the day Kena had spotted 2 horses way up high on a mountain, which he took a picture of and thought "hmmm, I wonder if anyone will have to go chase for those horses sometime", soon to find out that it was us that would have to hunt those horses. After hours of looking between Kena, Turtle and Malia (I only helped at the very end to look in some of the frequently visited places of the horses, which of course they weren´t there), they gave up. Malia radioed Norman in town to tell him they couldn´t figure it out. On Monday Carlos helped get one of them and the other horse is in a place I never found out. Those darn horses!!

10. Carmen opening the church in Tumianuma: there´s only service once a month in the small church in Tumianuma, the first Sunday of the month, because there is a traveling priest from Nigeria--with an accent in Spanish that Kena can understand (maybe because his family is from Kenya). There are paintings in the church that were done by the same artist who painted all the paintings in the room I stayed in in NF. He was a volunteer there at the farm for 6 months on his honeymoon with his new wife. The paintings in the church were done based on Sylvia for Mary the mother with a little baby Jesus in her arms. The other painting is of Jesus, with Ecuadorian characteristics. As Kena and I waited for a bus one weekend, Carmen (a townsmember who holds the keys to the church) graciously opened the church up for us so we could take a peep at the murals. They were very pretty and even though I couldn´t see Sylvia in the Mary, I appreciated the Ecuadorian looks of the characters.

11. Marlon and Michael hog the computers: when we opened the computer cafe in Tumianuma for the kids, Marlon (Gloria´s son who therefore automatically knew the cafe was open because he gave us the key) came to play on the computer. He was happy to play on his own but I asked him to share the news with others that it is open. He goes away and after about 20 minutes returns with Michael--1 friend. He didn´t take any time going to ask his friends on the other side of town if they wanted to play but decided 1 friend was enough so just the 2 of them could play on the computers together for the next 2 hours. While playing, Marlon had the computer only with paint, not Encarta. I watched as he painted a sign that said: "Feliz dia mama"--Happy day mom. It was so cute and a little sad becaue there was no way for him to print it out and show her so he just erased it and continued painting. This leads to the story of Kena´s dream in Tumianuma: as we were hanging out waiting for the boys to finish their games on the computer, Kena decided he wanted to move to Tumianuma. He wants to buy the computer cafe from Tina and move in there. The empty lot next to the cafe, which is up for sale for $5000 and is currently covered in weeds, is also a great lot. Tina wants to eventually purchase that land and put a community center of sorts there. She says that it is a great piece of land, very affordable for the area, and Kena believes would be a great place to settle down. All these daydreams are a weird joke of his, but he did get into details of how he could give tours of the town, horseback rides into NF and open an English restaurant to serve meat-heavy traditional English breakfasts to the volunteers who could use a little bit of comfort food so far from home.

12. The new bridge and a balancing act: as you make your way through the NF property to the kitchen, you have to cross a river by a little wooden bridge. It was a nice bridge when we first got there but over the weeks it became more dilapidated and Tina last Monday declared it no longer fit for people. So the guys decided to cut down a tree and build a new bridge. I wasn´t part of this activity as I was busy making humitas, but it took the majority of the day and I heard later that it was quite sketchy. They said they would make it more safe and stable the next day, but as is typically seen around NF, the next day is filled with other responsibilities that make it difficult to finish all in one day (meaning that we did a different task on Tuesday and the bridge was still in the same condition as it was built on Monday when I left the following Monday). The only source of stability is a little string tied between two trees on either side of the bank which you can hold as you slowly make your way across. The first bridge got so comfortable for me I didn´t even need the string, but this new bridge requires a life-grip on that string at times with both hands. It would be nice if they shaved off the top of the log to make it flatter and easier to use, but as of now it is definitely a balancing act. The most questionable day was when I was holding the liver in my hand after killing the bull, which was going to be our dinner, and I didn´t have a free hand. As I stumbled on the bridge, I clasped the string with my hand, splurting a bit of bull juice on my pants, and safely made it across. Luckily I never fell into the river, nor did anyone else as I was there, but I do still have some bull blood on those pants, even after I took them to the laundromat today...again, sorry Robyn!

Well that is it for now. I´m sure there are more stories that will come to mind as time passes, and I know there will be more pictures to share since Kena took like 1000 pictures! But as for my blog I think I will be moving on now, literally since tomorrow´s bus will take me to Peru. I am feeling much more revitalized and energized and ready for something new. I just emailed the school to tell them that the 30th, this Sunday, is an OK day to pick me up from the bus terminal to take me to the school. This gives me a few more days to relax and vacation a bit before setting down once again. I am starting to really see how variation is the spice of life and how much is plays into my own feelings and experiences. I think also having the clutch of communication via internet is a great dose of medicine and I am now ready for new adventures and more stories. Hasta Peru (Until Peru)!! XO

Poco a poco dice Carlos

The beautiful surroundings of the hills above us. Kena took this picture, as he took most of the pics I´m posting, but I think this was taken right outside his room, not sure though.


Julien and me enjoying our black tea with panella over breakfast. Panella is the only type of sweetener we had while on the farm. It is made from the sugar cane plant into hard blocks of brown sugar looking material. To cook with it we boil it in water to create a honey like substance that is used in tea, oatmeal, baked goods, coffee, whatever you want sweetened. I am now addicted to sweetened tea and can´t fathom not using it anymore!


This is the Cool Karly who only comes out in Ecuador. On our way to Vilca Bamba last weekend, I´m crossing the bridge and keeping it real! Haha!!!!


The girls and I climbed a tree in the field to get a good, safe look as the guys chased down the bull they were going to kill. Yup, on Friday the exciting event was killing the bull. It was one of Tina´s bulls that was a really misbehaved, out of control bull that needed to be sold. There were only a few offers that were way too low so instead Tina bought her own bull and then had to kill it. With the help of Andres, Carlos, Norman, the 5 university girls and the five of us volunteers we killed, dehaired and cut the cow up into pieces all day in the rain. It was a quintessential experience for a farm, even though my life long goal has been to milk a cow I´ll take killing a bull instead! I still feel like veganism is the way to go, but it was an educational experience full of blood, half digested grass and all sorts of innerds!


Innerds! Oh yeah, how many stomaches does a bull have? 4. How many were filled with nasty green semi-digested grass? 4. How do I know all this? I saw the guys cut open the stomachs and clean out the food. And I helped clean out the intestines in the creek with the other girls. It was like a long piece of trip filled with greenish goop!



Here are Maria de los Angeles and I cleaning the blood off the bull´s head. I´m not sure what they are going to do with the head but I´ve been told that they use pretty much every single body part of the cow so I expect them to use as much of the head as they can. Even though I was there, as part of the experience, I realized that I did very little to help kill or clean the bull but was nevertheless transfixed by the experience. I did end up getting a little blood on my pants (sorry Robyn) but I think it was from carrying a bit of the liver back to the house since we cooked it that night. Liver is a very unique flavor and when cooked with locally picked mushrooms (that Tina told us can be extremeley expensive in stores), which also have a very unique flavor, the dinner dish was one that most passed on. I tried it and enjoyed it a bit since it was cooked with lots of onions, tomatoe and seasonings, but I don´t think I´ll have a craving for fresh liver anytime soon!


Do you know what these two organs are? No need to look too close, I´ll just tell you: bull testicles and penis! Yup here I am proudly and grossly holding them. Andres needed someone to take the penis from him as he continued to butcher the bull and since I was closest, I grabbed it. I figured since I was already holding the penis, might as well grab a picture with the testicles as well. We ended up giving the penis to the dogs to eat, who happily garbbled that up as well as the fresh blood and several other unneeded pieces of meat thrown their way. The testicles Kena wanted to use to make a little coin purse for Tina. He didn´t know how to treat them though so he cooked the meat and gave it to the dogs, who ate it surprisingly fast. The skin he put around a rock and put in the oven to try and dry out a bit, it was raining a lot that day, and then I don´t know what he did with it. It sure became the butt of many jokes quite quickly as we talked with the Spanish-speaking students about the terms we use for testicles in English and watched as Kena uncomfortably tried to figure out what to do with them!


Tina has a little internet cafe open in Tumianuma. But the internet doesn´t work and there isn´t anyone to open the cafe for the kids. Therefore I went several times last week to open the cafe to let the kids play on the computers for a bit. There are three computers, only two of which work, and only one of which has Encarta, the encyclopedia program that includes several educational games on it. Here is a shot of me helping a little boy learn how to play Spider on the computer. It was difficult at first because it has been a long time since I´ve played, but after a bit I got the hang of it and we won two times! The other day when all the volunteers went into town to do some volunteer service, I was happily releaved of weeding when I opened the cafe instead of using a shovel to dig up rocks and small weeds. It was a great afternoon activity to walk into town and hang out in the cool dark room for a few hours. I did some reading while the kids played, which is my new favorite past time.


Here are the girls, me, Julien, Kena and Norman waiting in Tumianuma to start the voluneer work. We worked at the school in the morning pulling weeds and burning weeds. Norman, on the left, is a huge part of Neverland Farm and makes a majority of the farm work look way easier than how I felt when doing it!


Me and Vanessa doing some tough work of planting a tree, well here we are digging a hole which is clearly necessary for planting a tree!


Taking a break after burning lots of weeds, some of the volunteers at the school brought us wonderfully refreshing juice with lots of sugar that wasn´t panella, such a rarity!


Working hard, being serious as always. Maria de los Angeles, me and Ximena. They were really close friends, pretty darn funny and lots of fun! Ximena can shake it on the dance floor and Angeles (her nickname) really knows how to cook, even liver!


Here´s a group shot after working in the school garden. Could someone please remind me that my goofy faces are not becoming? I think I know this and yet I continue to make such ugly faces, why do I do this????!!!!


I think a few people felt starved for a nice refreshing beverage after digging holes, burning weeds and planting trees! Some college students just don´t know how to live without their cerveza, not including the two guys who are way out of college!


What a great shot, right? Little Michael playing with his dog. He is the son of Eliza, one of the smallest women I´ve met in Ecuador who is a great cook and at whose house we had lunch after working at the school. Michael loves playing on the computer and he´s the little boy I helped on the computer the other day.


Wiped! Taking in the sun, well actually cloudy sky, but still just relaxing. While we listened to some music, the girls took turns riding the horses around the time. It was their first time on horses and it was hilarious to watch as they freaked out just climbing on top, not that I am one to talk considering how I didn´t even ride one while I was there (not because I´m still scared but rather because I just was too busy!).


Here are Julien and Maria de los Angeles, a couple that seemed to have chemistry going on all week....romance at the farm? Not a first Tina says! Oh and a side note: Julien is HILARIOUS. Like seriously I could not be around him for longer than a minute without laughing. He was sarcastic and made me crack up all the time. Somehow he made a comment at some point that lead me to start calling him "God" so that whenever someone said "oh my God" he´d say "Yes, you called." His English was also hilarious because he is from France and really speaks French and Spanish fluently but would try to use his English to speak with Michael and Emma who can´t speak Spanish. I think the only English song Julien knows is "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" which he sang in an outragiously funny way with his broken English. He got the girls singing it too who would sometimes sound like they said "And a happy new youuuu!" which I tried to explain was different from "a happy new YEAR!" Julien asked me if I sang this song every Christmas season with my family dressed in Christmas sweaters in front of the fireplace with our dog, bouncing our heads from left to right as we sing sickeningly sweetly "We wish you a merry Christmas". I´m really going to miss this guy!


Me and Kena, looking crazy after a long night of cooking. Once again, the crazed look on my face doesn´t make me look all that attractive, but I guess I shouldn´t care because I´m not in Ecuador looking for love, right? Answer: heck no tech no!


Here´s the group of us hanging out at Andres´house before the party. We´re drinking a few Pilsener´s and shooting the breeze like local Ecuadorians!


The last night with the girls, Saturday night, we all went to a big party in Tumianuma that started around 8PM and went until around 6AM. I didn´t stay that late though, since I am a grandma at heart who likes to go to bed early. We danced our feet off though and I was a little saddened to see that the girls out-energized and out-danced me! It is like I am still not acclimated to Ecuador or something because even after a long sleep I´m still tired. Therefore at around 11 or midnight I as exhausted as these little energy bunnies wanted to dance nonstop!


The dancing, me with my hands up in the air and the girls all around showing me how to get down, Ecuadorian style.

Poco a poco dice Carlos--this has been the mantra of my life these past three weeks. Translated into English: "Carlos says, little by little." Whether it is weeding, peeling green bananas, cleaning gunk out of the intestines of cows or packing my things up to go, little by little all gets done. I have left NF and am in Loja for the next two days before making the journey to Peru for my next month´s journey. I have so much to share but also have Kena walking around Loja waiting for me, so I´ll give some details now and more later. While I travel I will be going through cities with internet so hopefully I can give more details with time. But of course, as I travel I also collect more stories to share so it´s best to update while it is all fresh:

1. Outside of my room there are three cats: a mom and her two baby kittens. Do not let the cuteness of the kittens fool you. The first day I was there the other volunteers told me how the cats will get into your room and poop and pee all over. I had become anal about kicking them out, but there is only so much you can do to stop them from entering when the door doesn´t stay shut. Luckily we started with a piece of bamboo to hold the door shut but then used a key to lock the door. It wasn´t too bad and Kena even made a joke about how ruthless I am about not letting the cats in. Like really Karly you think they are just going to dash in, piss on your bed and dash out? I don´t know...maybe. But last night was the worst. I´m lying in bed about to go to bed when I hear some jumping and then a light thump on my bed. No way, are you kidding me?! Yes, the kitten had jumped up through a window high up on the wall, landed on my bed and then ran into a corner. And believe it or not after I dragged her out, like 10 minutes later she was right back in the room! So I had to kick her out and then put the window cover in front to stop her from jumping in. Even though it was warm, luckily it wasn´t too warm and the cats stopped. On top of the breaking-in-cat, there was also the cat-in-heat who would be jumped by the orange and white mean cat Clem in the middle of the night and make these horendous screaming noises like a little baby! It was glass-breaking shreaks that luckily only lasted one night.

2. The girls from the University this past week were amazing. It was great to get to know them, share details of our cultures and have some laughs as we worked together around the farm. By far my favorite activities occured in the kitchen where we cooked up storms like no other. They made some fantastic popcorn and even kettlecorn like treat with popcorn covered in panella (sorry Dr. David, my teeth probably weren´t any better off after that yummy food). One night it rained and we cooked all sorts of food including sauteed cabbage, spagetti, roasted veggies, salad, fried green bananas and I think even another thing or two.

3. Chickens are still super annoying. Thankfully the huge rooster at NF didn´t cock-a-doodle-doo as early in the morning and as much throughout the day as the rooster at MP did.

4. Poco a poco my Spanish is getting better. I´ve received several compliments regarding how good it is but I still have a hard time understanding native speakers who don´t cater their speed to my level of fluidity.

5. Bug bites are bad, still taking Benedryl, but luckily I think I am out of bug territory for awhile if not for good. The sunburn is better even though my shoulder is peeling.

6. Going to Ecuador I thought I´d lose weight but I think I´m about the same after staying at this farm where I ate a lot of heavy food with cheese, cream, eggs and lots of oatmeal, a breakfast favorite for sure!

7. Emotionally I´ve been on a roller coaster. A definite pick me up is getting internet access like right now. I think the hardest thing is the deep rooted homesickness that is pretty much always with me. It makes me wonder if I made a wrong decision somewhere along the line, but I think I know this is where I should be. As I told another volunteer this morning, in the backpack of life experiences, I want to have abroad experiences there, but for some reason it sometimes feels like taking medicine: I know it´s good for me and at times it is pretty great, but most of the time it´s a pain to take. Looking back on this past week I realize how great of experiences I have had and I look forward to more great times in the future. A change of country is definitely something to mix things up. Plus I´m not going to be on a farm in June but rather at another school, a good mix. Another good remedy for homesickness is staying busy which I often do through reading. I want to add a post with all the books I´ve been reading to keep track, maybe later this week. I´m very grateful for Tina´s library where I found several good finds, including one of my new favorite books: The Hitchhiker´s Guide to the Galaxy--a must read if you want a good laugh!

8. Even after showering I usually still feel quite dirty. As for cleaning my clothes, I just do it in the shower so it´s not like they are actually clean but more like they aren´t super dirty or stinky. Maybe while I´m in the city I can go to a laundromat and get them cleaned in a machine. I´m very excited to give Kena some of my warm weather clothes to take back to the states for me because I think I´m going to be in summer/spring weather for the majority of the rest of my trip! (Hopefully that means Mom can start expecting a package in the next few weeks with my things in it, like the 4 scarves I no longer need).

9. One day Kena and I got to play cards with Nicolle, the 7 year old daughter of Andres and Silvia. We played la burra nurviosa (nervous donkey) which is a silly midnless game that involves slapping cards. We also played a game that was like memory except after looking at the two cards you have to swap their positions, which makes it more of a guessing game than a memory game! It was really fun playing with her though. I later played a game called el sucio cullo (the dirty butt hole) which is kind of like BS with Ximena and Angeles, and which I lost and therefore was el sucio cullo.

10. Traveling and meeting people has been a great experience I didn´t really expect to experience as much as I have. The people on the farm have been so much fun and great people to spend time with, both in English and in Spanish. I have learned though that the people you meet along the way, while new, different, interesting and fun, aren´t the same as the close friends and family back at home. This is good and bad in that I am stretching my horizons but then find myself yearning for my roots. Tina gave me a fabulous compliment today as we were leaving by saying that she was grateful to have me visit because I was such a positive person and they haven´t had such positive people visit the farm in a long time. I am very proud of my positive energy. Sometimes I wonder how sincere it is, but I think almost all the time I am naturally positive rather than just a facade of happiness. I mean, how can you not be happy when Norman says "Buenos dias Karrrrly" and then says Karrrly throughout the day with the little twinkle in his eye. He just loves to roll the r in my name and say it as if it is such a fun word to say. Everytime he said my name I found myself giggling a bit.

Well it has been about 3 hours now in this little internet cafe. I am hanging out with Kena tonight and tomorrow at the little Hostal Londres. We wanted to see Dear John (Queridos John) in the movie theatres but unfortunately it is no longer playing. We might buy a $1 DVD of the movie at a store around here and watch it on a computer somewhere. I also have to buy my bus ticket for Wednesday and exchange my US $ for Peruvian Sols. I am ready for a change of scenary and a new leg of my trip. I contacted the school and they would prefer I arrive on the 30th, this Sunday, but I´ll be in Trujillo (a northern city 15 hours from where I am on bus, and where the school representatives will pick me up) on the 27th or 28th. I´m hoping to get picked up on the 28th but we´ll see what is most convenient for them since they are at their volunteer limit right now of 6 people. That is promising, to know I will have company in the community and among the other volunteers. I will update the blog a few more times before I get to the school though, so no worries. Hasta pronto (see ya/talk to ya soon!)!